I am pregnant but I am scared

My name is Nandini (changed name) my marriage took place six months ago. My husband has his own business I always desired that I should have a baby because I had liking for the babies from the very beginning of my life. Few weeks back, I became pregnant I was very happy on knowing it.
But after my pregnancy, my husband’s behaviour changed to me. He does not understand my feelings. He often beats me after drinking. He compels me for bringing dowry from my parent at home. Moreover, my in laws family do not treat well with me. My mother in-law often taunts me for one thing or the other.
I have not told any thing to my parents regarding it as they would get too much upset on hearing it and they would not be able to bear my pain as their happiness lies in my happiness only. My mother was very happy when she came to know about my pregnancy. But I do not know how would she react if I say her that I do not want to give birth to my baby as I often think that my future is insecure with my husband. He is too much money minded. He often takes the side of my mother-in-law or sister-in-law whenever there arises any problem between me and them. I often think that why do God create such type of people who do not have the feelings for others.

My husband does not show any respect to my parents. on the other hand he wants that I should give due respect to my in-laws. But how could I create feelings for them if they are altogether feeling less for me.

One time, I even thought of committing suicide but I left the idea by thinking that what would my parents feel when they come to know about it. I can not see my parents in sorrow. That is why I am not taking any step against my in laws. But I often think for how long would I conceal all these things from my parents. Before marriage, my husband had told my parents that he is not in the habit of drinking. Only because of that my parents had got agreed for the marriage. But when I saw him drinking, I could not believe on my eyes and wept bitterly and condemned God also for writing this type of fate in my lot. As I am pregnant, I have lost interest in my baby because the atmosphere in the home is not suitable that I could give birth to the baby. On the other hand, I want to leave my in laws and go back to my parents and want to tell everything.

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