Love with married man

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My name is Rajveer (Changed Name) . I am in love with married man . I am from Calcutta. I am of eighteen years. I am doing bachelor of computer application in a college nears by my home. By this site, I want to express my feelings of love for the guy who is eighteen years elder to me. I have one brother who is well settled in America and there is not any shortage of money in the home. I too want to go to America after doing M.C.A. My parents love me a lot as I am very intelligent in studies.

There is a guy who lives in my neighbour hood. He is 36 years old. He is married as has a beautiful wife. They have a baby boy also. He does job in a company. I am in love that guy (Married man ). His age does not matter for me at all and neither does his marital status. I am mad after him.

One day, he came in our home for meeting my father. I was alone in the home and my father was not there. I was wearing jeans top at that time. That guy asked about my father and I told him that my father had gone outside and he would be back with in five minutes. I took him in our drawing room and started making tea for him. After preparing the tea, I came at the place where he was sitting. That guy was looking very smart and he was continuously looking at me. I felt shyness and down casted my eyes but smiled a little after that he told me to sit on the sofa. I sat and he started talking to me about the studies and things related to the family. After that he paid a big smile and handed me his phone number and told me to say the papa that he had come to meet him.

Because I was fell in love with him after that meeting, so I called him the next day. He was in his office at that time. He picked up the phone and recognized me. I talked continuously for one hour with him. From his talk, I came to know that he is very caring, loving and affectionate guy. So I started calling him daily at his office hours.

I started missing him after some days, at nights even. So I started calling him even at the nights because my love toward him was increasing day by day. This never happened that if I call him and he does not call me back. Whenever, I called him, rather than picking up the phone, he himself used to call me. At one night, it was 1:00 A.M. and I was not able to sleep as I was continuously thinking about him. So I called him. As usual, he did not pick up my call and called me back after two minutes. He asked me for calling at late hours. So I told him that I was missing him. Then he advised me to sleep and they would talk in the morning. I got up at 10:00 A.M. in the morning as at night. I kept on waking late at hours. Immediately after getting up, I called him and expressed my desire of meeting him. Firstly, he hesitated but after that he agrees and we planned to meet in one of the luxurious restaurant of our locality. I had lost control over myself as I was too much in love with him. In the restaurant, we had fun together. I had bought a gift for him and handed over that to him. I came near him and told him to close the eyes and after that I kissed him. But he did not do any of such acts. But sometimes he feels that he is doing wrong by calling me and meeting at the restaurant, as he is already married and he is cheating his wife by doing such activities.

I too feels that as I am doing sin by loving some one else’s husband and often think what is the use of aspiring for that which could never become mine. Now I am excising much control over myself and does not call him and meet him. I remember him and I can never forget him but as he is married I have to think a lot before taking any step regarding it. I do not know how I started looking and loving him only but unluckily I am sure that my first love would not be fulfilled and would never be able to erase the impressions of my first love from my heart.