regret not to share feeling

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I was working in the MNC’s and I usually went to the office by bus. I always caught the bus from the bus stop. Few days before one girl also started taking the bus from that same bus stoppage. I used to look at her regularly. I wanted to talk with her but scared of any kind of rise in problem. This situation stopped me to take the step towards her. For a month the same routines followed. She came ,waited for the bus I used to wait for her. I looked at her but didn’t talk to her.

Suddenly she stopped coming there. I regularly waited for her. In fact I stopped going to the office and always waited for her there only. I got very much tensed. One day I asked from the bus conductor in which she used to go. He didn’t know anything about her but he had her number. He gave her number to me. And I got very happy and started blushing when I got that number.

I called on that number and asked about her. The information which I got from the person took away my breathe. He told me that she was suffering from the cancer and was no more now.

I cried a lot that day and was feeling like a child who couldn’t express his pain and reason of crying. That day I regretted a lot because I couldn’t even share my feelings to her. That incident changed my entire life. I forgot how to laugh and enjoy. I started spending my time alone and in dark. Till now I am not able to forget her.