Sin by house wife – inspired by real story

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My name is Anaya.(changed name) I am from Himachal only two years have passed to my marriage. I have a baby (boy) also. My husband is an engineer and often go on long tours for work. We have single family as my mother-in-law and father-in-law who is well settled in Canada. They had come in India just on my marriage and stayed with us only for one week and after that went back to their residing place. After that I became all alone in the home as my husband used to go on tours because of their job. He loves me a lot and there is not any shortage of anything in the home. Before my marriage, I had a boy friend who was deeply attached to me. He could do anything to get me. But my parents did not get ready me marry me of with that guy because he belonged to some other caste and they got me married with some other guy. In the beginning I had not any sort of feelings for my husband. I did not consider any of my duty toward him. I never called him for asking about his condition. I did not show any interest linked to any of his activity. In spite of this all his treatment to me was good. He never rebuked me. He always treated me kindly. He always got ready to meet my demands.
As I was not in the habit of living alone and had love in my heart for the guy with whom I was committed before marriage, I used to call him all throughout the night. Nobody was in the home to restrict me about any of my activity. So I enjoyed full freedom. Sometimes I used to call him at home also to stay during the night. As he was single his commitment to me had not changed even a little bit. He used to show to me the same concern as he showed to me before my marriage. In between that we grew wrong relations. I gave birth to the baby. Now my son is of one year. My husband does not know anything about reality. But this thing is eating me from inside. Sometimes I think I have committed a blunder or sin by giving birth to this baby but at the same time I think that where does the baby’s fault lie. I have lost interest in everything. When I see my husband paying a lot of attention to me and my baby I often think that what would happen if he comes to know about the truth as he has deep trust in me and he loves me and our baby the most in this world.